New Mom Survival Tips
Ooh, the newborn period. It is an indescribable time, filled with postpartum hormones, excitement, fear, very little sleep, and of course joy and relief that baby is finally here! There is also a time of transition from being a person to a parent, parent of one child to two, etc. These are my New Mom Survival Tips for the crazy, overwhelming, and hormonal newborn period.
Don’t worry I’m not going to tell you “sleep when the baby sleeps,” or my personal favorite, “enjoy every minute.” Those off-the-cuff statements aren’t the most helpful when you’re knee-deep in breastmilk or formula, spit-up (of either), and sleep deprivation!!
These New Mom Survival Tips are a combination of things that worked when I brought home my newborns along with lessons I learned from what didn’t work so well. I hope you enjoy my New Mom Survival Tips and I would love to hear any you can add!
Tip 1: Talk to Other Moms
Not the judgy type who will tell you to “enjoy every moment” and “the days are long but the years are short” or “you will miss this someday.” Yes, that’s all lovely, but it’s not always what you want to hear when it feels like this time will never end! Find a Mom friend (or Facebook group) that will listen while you talk or vent!
My favorite conversations were with a friend of 15 years who said: “do you ever think what did we do?!” It validated that I was not the only one who has ever thought that, and I’m not a bad mom for thinking it. It’s also nice to laugh with people who understand, maybe swear a little bit, shed a tear, and get it all out.
Tip 2: Try Not to Compare
This is so much easier said than done. I remember my middle-of-the-night epiphany during a nursing session with Little A that really changed my outlook on this. Other moms social media portrayed them as so put together and totally rocking motherhood. I figured I was doing wrong because my life didn’t feel like that at all. Then I realized, I was in the throes of postpartum anxiety and depression, crying constantly and barely functioning at times. But if you looked at my social media, things looked pretty darn perfect.
That was how I wanted to be seen too and to be honest, I think it was also how I wanted to remember that time period when I look back in the future. I want to remember the happy times, not the miserable crying times. And that’s okay! But it’s important to remember that others may be doing the same thing.
Breastfeeding? Click HERE to check out my list of Essentials for Breastfeeding Moms
Tip 3: Let Others Help You
I did not do this with Little A. I felt like I needed to do everything to prove I was a good mom. In reality, everyone else already thought that. Except for me, that is. I have since realized that people weren’t offering to help because they didn’t think I could handle it. They genuinely wanted to help!!
Now I let them. We go out on date nights. My husband or Mom takes the kids to doctor’s visits if I can’t make it when in the beginning, I rescheduled them if I couldn’t be there myself. If I am exhausted and my husband is awake in the morning, I sleep in for a few extra minutes. I used to run downstairs afraid I’d miss something or he would resent me for sleeping, not true.
If you have any concerns for postpartum depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues, PLEASE reach out to your obstetrician, primary care provider, local mobile crisis center, or call 911 if needed.
Tip 4: Set Boundaries
Set whatever boundaries you feel that you need to for yourself and your new family. This may include when people can visit and for how long at a time. Empower yourself to say no to people who cannot understand or respect your boundaries during this time.
When you have a newborn at home, it is not your job to entertain people, feed people, and wait on them while they get their baby fix. It is your job to take care of yourself and your family.
Surround yourself with people who are happy to help you with what you need, and in the way you need it.
Tip 5: Surround Yourself with Positive People
*This can be virtually or in person*
Who empowers and encourages you? Your Mom? Aunt? Best friend? Those are your people. They will be the ones to ask the important questions… How are you doing? What do you need? Can I help?
Empowering and positive people genuinely want to see you thrive as a new parent. They aren’t there to judge, compare, or question (unless there is a true safety concern). These are the people whose only goal is to support you and your new family. Surround yourselves in their love and positivity.
Tip 6: Do Something for YOU Every Day
You may be thinking Ummm I barely have time to pee, this is impossible! Hear me out. I am not talking about things that take a lot of time or money. You don’t even have to leave the house for most of them!
Take a shower. Paint your nails. Text a friend (and respond when they text back). Call a friend or family member to catch up. Go for a walk, time this around nap time and it can be a win-win! Get crazy and drive to your favorite coffee shop to grab a coffee.
Do something that reminds you of who you are and what you like. What makes you feel human again?
Tip 7: Give Yourself Grace
Please remember Mama, You’ve Got This and You Are Enough!! Your world and your life as you know it are changing, it will take time to adjust and that is okay. Your baby couldn’t love anyone in this world more than you, even though they sometimes suck at showing it! So many virtual hugs and well wishes heading your way and thank you for checking out my New Mom Survival Tips. You’ve got this!
XOXO, Tracy
